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By: Clarice

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Regaining back the trust of your friend…

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Trust is the most important aspect in friendship. When you have broken a trust in a friendship, fear not! Here are some advices that may help you regain the trust your friend.

The basic thing that you must do first is acknowledging the problem. Do not drag the problem as the longer you drag it, the harder it get to repair the relationship with your friend. Also, do not hope the situation would resolve itself because it would not. Be brave and face it.

Admitting your role in causing the breach of trust is next. Acknowledging the problem and admitting that you caused it is a whole other thing. Muster up the courage, admit that you are the cause of this. Do not let ego and pride get the better of you.

Thirdly, we need to apologise for our mistakes. Say it face to face or you can write a card to express yourself.

Fourthly, offer to make amends. Amend the situation by taking corrective action to repair any damage that has been done. Plan step by step how you would amend your mistakes. By amending your mistakes, do it through your actions and not only by words because actions speak louder than words. Vow that you would not break trusts again.

Fifthly, do not ever break a trust anymore. If you do it again, you might do an irreparable damage.

Lastly, be patient. Give them space and time. It’s normal that it’s a slow and painful process. Your patience will finally determine how important you treat this friendship in your life.

You can’t control the outcome of this process and there is no guarantee that following these steps will restore trust in the relationship. However, the important thing is that you have made the effort to restore this friendship. Do have a clear conscience that you’ve done everything under your power to cultivate the soil for trust to once again grow and flourish. Still, look on the positive side of everything!

Done by: Daphne Tui

Dealing with jealously!

You and your friends might be said to be as close as ‘sisters’, but when you are dealing with a jealous friendship, even the strongest bonds are tested. Irrational jealousy can cripple a relationship, fortunately, most jealousy issues can be resolved if both friends want to preserve the relationship. These are some useful advice you may consider:

 

Find the root of the jealous 

There is always a reason / root of you feeling jealous, of which only you know. It may be a feeling that you are not as good as your friend or a fear that you have lesser qualities as compared to your friend. Whatever the cause, knowing the root of your jealousy would make it easier for you to deal with it as you are able to recognize the problem and tackling it would be less of a problem.

 

You are the reason they are jealous

You may notice that your friends are always telling you how jealous they are of you / your belongings. You might want to talk to them and discuss about it openly as this might turn out to be an issue in your friendship with time to come. Also, you can try to change the focus on them by building them up, complementing them about their successes and cheering them on. Try to put yourself in your friend’s shoes to further understand them and deal with the problem of jealousy.

 

Talk it out

Talking it out with your friend would help clear things out and smoothen the friendship. You might decide on bringing it up during lunch or your free time and talk to her in private. Be honest and tell her how you feel however does remember to be polite and mindful of the words you use. After you’ve finish, do allow her to express her thoughts as well. Together, you two can come up of ways to reduce the feeling of jealousy with compromising but mostly importantly, satisfaction and agreement from both parties. Let this matter strengthen your friendship and bring both of you closer. 

 

– clarice